I want you to have it all:

Dileep Krishna
3 min readApr 26, 2024

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I’m a flickering candle now, a single lost note adrift since our organic symphony fell silent. Doubt whispers… can I ever compose a masterpiece without the echoes of your taste, your hum in my head?

This afternoon, I’m not drowning in whiskey, but the ache of unsynced playlists. Each sip paints pictures of indie bands we discovered in dusty record shops. This emptiness is a stranger.

I want you to have it all. Here’s to the hearts you don’t break, the flickering lights you leave ablaze.

I want you to have it all.

Logic was my shield, emotion the wildflower I trampled. All the empty gigs, the dates where the soundtrack was wrong…poor substitutes for our harmony.

I tried to rewrite our chorus. But the moon still dances to the rhythm of your name, a drumbeat under my skin. What went wrong? Those nights decoding lyrics, bodies swaying on dusty dancefloors…what broke our flow?

Is it the miles murmuring between us now, like static on a shared favorite mixtape? A missed beat in our ever-evolving soundtrack? I don’t know.

Every day’s a struggle against discord. Logic promised a new anthem, but it’s all borrowed chords and fading melodies.

Maybe destiny plays on an endless loop, and we’ll find our way back to the groove…maybe not.

I try to erase the playlists we built track by track, under a tapestry of shared stars. But what’s music without those cosmic nights we dissected albums, found ourselves in the lyrics?

Every hug was a symphony of warmth, a bassline against my heartbeat. Now, those echoes are unfinished songs.

My search for purpose, my own spotlight… it’s all just hollow noise like a mic check in an empty theater.

Did my solo push you towards a brighter stage? Each whiskey sour whispers memories of your favorite dive bar bands. Still doesn’t warm, doesn’t bite.

I don’t know what I am now. But I remember that feeling… first time our fingers brushed over a rare vinyl find, the electric buzz. The sun itself felt jealous of the heat we made.

Or maybe I’m the shadow that let your firelight dance? A discordant note you needed to outgrow?

Where do I find that warmth again? Every ‘sala’ a missed lyric, flights untaken scream like missed festival sets, those sunsets now just sound like a fading encore.

Can darkness ever birth a new sunrise? Or is this it – a broken vinyl loop of what could have been? Maybe, maybe not.

I ache for answers, but only if they play off your tongue, like we used to argue the merits of a hidden B-side. That’s the only music with meaning.

Until then, those empty balconies will play the songs of what we almost were, a haunting B-side to our unfinished album.

To those sunsets we never shared…does the sun even set anymore? Or will my nightscape forever be painted with what we lost?

Only time, that unpredictable DJ, can spin these scattered songs into something whole again. Only a duet with you can turn my flickering solo into something extraordinary.

No matter what, I want you to have it all.

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Dileep Krishna

I am a Confused Thinker. I attempt to make logical decisions. I love Ideas. I attempt to make them happen.